Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.

• I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.

• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.

• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.

• Ask me questions to help me get clear.

• Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.

• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.

• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.

• Let me know you like what I've done or said.

• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a NINE

• being nonjudgmental and accepting

• caring for and being concerned about others

• being able to relax and have a good time

• knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

• my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

• my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

• being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a NINE

• being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

• being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

• being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

• being confused about what I really want

• caring too much about what others will think of me

• not being listened to or taken seriously

NINEs as Children Often

• feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

• tune out a lot, especially when others argue

• are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

NINEs as Parents

• are supportive, kind, and warm

• are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

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Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing,

and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.

• Share fun times with me.

• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.

• Let me know that I am important and special to you.

• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.

• Reassure me often that you love me.

• Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a TWO

• being able to relate easily to people and to make friends

• knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better

• being generous, caring, and warm

• being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings

• being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a TWO

• not being able to say no

• having low self-esteem

• feeling drained from overdoing for others

• not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish

• criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should

• being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them

• working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

• are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism

• try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding

• are outwardly compliant

• are popular or try to be popular with other children

• act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention

• are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

• are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)

• are often playful with their children

• wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"

• can become fiercely protective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele, The Enneagram Made Easy. Discover the 9 Types of People.

Harper: San Francisco, 1994, 161 pages

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Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! (même si c'est vrai, le dite pas, s'il vous plait)

What I Like About Being a FOUR

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

• my ability to establish warm connections with people

• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

• being unique and being seen as unique by others

• having aesthetic sensibilities

• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a FOUR

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

• feeling guilty when I disappoint people

• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me

• expecting too much from myself and life

• fearing being abandoned

• obsessing over resentments

• longing for what I don't have

FOURs as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

• are very sensitive

• feel that they don't fit in

• believe they are missing something that other people have

• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

What I Like About Being a SIX

What's Hard About Being a SIX

SIXes as Children Often